This will be the week... most likely anyway... that Geni is born. How is it that I can feel SOOO much less prepared to give birth to her than I was to Mel? I've done this already! but am TERRIFIED!!! I want to be cuddling Mel every moment of the day... I feel like this is the last time... something. Things will never be the same. I already feel homesick for the family I have right now, and nothing has even changed yet!
I know things will be different and WONDERFUL with Geni here... of course they will be and blah blah blah... but still.... I really enjoy life with my men- and am nearly sick with all the anticipation of the unknown everything.
There is so much to be done! So much to look forward to! What will I regret about this last week... what do I need to focus on? Will I wish I would have let the toilets mold a few months longer and really PLAYED with Mel more? Or going to playdates I won't be getting around to in so long? Will I wish I would have relaxed and literally put my feet up more so I would have actually had the energy required to give birth?
I think I'll go eat some icecream- watch what is left of Toy Story 2 with Mel... and then put us both down for a nap. I'm feeling exhausted.
Yesterday Mark took the day off so we could get things more ready for Geni... but to start the day we spent the morning at the zoo... petting zoo especially... Mel loves the goats. It was wonderful. Thus, the picture.
5 comments:
I don't know what to say. I know everything will be fine, you will adapt and so will your men. But I also know that as mothers we often feel guilty about...well, everything. Each time I have had a new child, my relationship with the others changes, and that is always hard to look back on. I think most people who are mothers of more than one child look back on their time with just the one and wish they could be that attentive to everyone. But your time with Mel has made him who he is and Geni will know now different. Things will be fine, Mel will still get what he needs from you...I promise. They always find a way to make that happen. Good luck!
Ummm......did I write this post?! Because it is EXACTLY EVERYTHING I have been feeling, too!!! Not even kidding. I am getting induced 1 week from today if he/she doesn't come before then and I am feeling waaaaaay more nervous for this one! I can't stop cleaning but then I feel guilty for not spending more time with Jack before the baby comes! Seriously, it was like I was reading my own journal.
Good luck to you girl! I'll be thinking of you! Are you going natural again?
p.s. Kurt ordered an Ergo carrier for me for my b-day :) soooo excited
I could totally understand your feelings! I think everyone goes through those feeling at one time or another so you are not alone. It will take some time to adjust, just like it did with Mel the first couple of months but after that you will be so happy because they will have someone to play with and you will have twice the joy! Good luck and I can't wait to hear how everything went:)
So excited for you! Mel is going to look like a giant after you hold tiny baby Geni. It's funny how that happens. Can't wait to see pictures...you're going to do great!
Britta, I am so so happy for you and Mark! Can't wait to see pics of the new baby girl, she is going to be beautiful!
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